GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAAAATTTTTT.

So, as you may know if you know me in real life, I hate Abercrombie. I don’t like the standards of beauty that they promote, the shirtless guys that stand outside make me a little uncomfortable, and plus, their stores REEK. (Seriously, have you ever been in one? It’s terrifying. The music is loud and the lights are dim and the smell is overpowering. I’m convinced that these factors are combined purposefully to disorient you so you don’t realize how much you’re paying for their clothes.)

I do, however, buy jeans there. But before you judge me, let me defend myself. I have big thighs, and so most jeans tend to pinch them. I also have disproportionately large calves, and Abercrombie is the only store I’ve found that sells skinny jeans that actually fit me. Plus, whenever I need jeans, the entire store is 40-50% off, making their jeans almost reasonably priced.

Anyway, the reason I am so excited is that my FAVORITE jeans (possibly EVER) are from Abercrombie. They’re stretchy but they don’t stretch out and get baggy, they look really good on me, AND they don’t have that back pocket stitching that’s so recognizable, so I can wear them without people judging me and making assumptions about me because I’m wearing Abercrombie jeans.

I tripped last week and ripped a pair of jeans —  one of my go-to pairs of jeans because they were really comfortable. So I was poking around, looking for a replacement pair, and what do I find on the Abercrombie website? MY FAVORITE JEANS! ON CLEARANCE! AND THE ONLY SIZE LEFT IS MY SIZE! So I bought them.

This is probably not a big deal but I’M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE THESE JEANS ARE AWESOME. I AM WEARING THEM NOW AND THEY ARE THE BOMB.